I have OCD: Obsessive Comparison Disorder. I have written about my love-hate relationship with Facebook before due to me always comparing myself to others. I took a break last year, and have gone back and fell into the same traps I was struggling with before.
About a month ago I decided to delete the app off of my phone. Again. This time I may not go back. I have found myself longing for the days before status updates and selfies. I have enjoyed not always thinking about what I should post next, or looking at what my “friends” are doing with their kids or what amazing vacations people are taking that we may never take. I’ve just been working on improving myself and taking care of my family. I am not working full-time right now, and just teaching English part-time to kids in China via Qkids.
I have my days open to do things that need to get done around the house, spend time with Jordan and Tim, and I’ve been happier. Occasionally I have checked Facebook and made the mistake of scrolling in my news feed. And it sucked me in like it always does and I fell back into my old ways of thinking I’m not enough based on a few pictures or posts by other people.
I’m reading a very good book by James MacDonald called, “Lord, Change My Attitude Before It’s Too Late”, which discusses 5 attitudes of the Israelites when they were in the desert, which kept them in the wilderness and will keep us in “wilderness living” if we have them. Attitudes are patterns of thinking over a period of time. It’s a habit and a choice. One such attitude is being covetous instead of content. He points out a very interesting verse: 1 Timothy 6:6, “But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment.” Then verse 8 says, “If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content.” That’s all you need. If you have food and covering (clothes and shelter), you have enough.
You do not need the big house, nice car, or to eat out at expensive restaurants. We should be satisfied with the basics. That is true contentment that leads to happiness and joy. That is what I want. And we already have that. My family does not go a day without 3 meals. We have clean clothes to wear every day and a house to live in. We are well taken care of.
I posted these Bible verses on my bathroom mirror so I can have a visual reminder of this truth.
If you are someone who can go onto social media and take it for what it is: a way for people to share snapshots of their lives, and not a complete picture of those lives, then I am happy for you.
For me, it is a struggle and for that reason, I may not ever put Facebook back on my phone. I may eventually delete my account. For now, I am continuing to focus my efforts on becoming more godly and content, and teaching my young children to do the same.
May God bless you with contentment and joy!